#UnapologeticallyMe series: Part 4- Unbroken
In this article I’m going to discuss the effects of trauma and suffering.
Popular rock band Bon Jovi have recently released a song called Unbroken, which aims to highlight the struggles of war veterans.
I think they’ve done a great job with this song, but that it has relevance for those who have gone through any trauma or suffering.
Lyrics:
I was born to be of service
Camp Lejeune just felt like home
I had honour, I found purpose
Sir, yes, sir
That’s what I know
They sent us to a place I’d never heard of weeks before
When you’re nineteen, it ain’t hard to sleep
In the desert on God’s floor
Close your eyes, stop counting sheep
You ain’t in bootcamp anymore
We were taught to shoot our rifles
Men and women side by side
Thought we’d be met as liberators
In a thousand year old fight
I got this painful ringing in my ear
From an IED last night
But no lead lined humvee war machine, could save my Sergeant’s life
Three more soldiers, six civilians
Need these words to come out right
God of mercy, God of light
Save your children from this life
Hear these words, this humble plea
For I have seen the suffering
And with this prayer I’m hoping
That we can be unbroken
It’s 18 months now, I’ve been stateside
With this medal on my chest
But there are things I can’t remember
And there are things I won’t forget
I lie awake at night with dreams the devil shouldn’t see
I wanna scream, but I can’t breathe
And Christ, I am sweating through these sheets
Where’s my brothers? Where’s my country?
Where’s my how things used to be?
God of mercy, God of light
Save your children from this life
Hear these words, this humble plea
For I have seen the suffering
And with this prayer I’m hoping
That we can be unbroken
My service dogs done more for me
Than the medication would
There ain’t no angel that is coming to save me
But even if they could
Today, 22, would die from suicide
Just like yesterday, they’re gone
I live my life for each tomorrow
So their memories will live on
Once we were boys, and we were strangers
Now we’re brothers and we’re men
Someday you’ll ask me, was it worth it to be of service in the end?
Well, the blessing, and the curse is, yeah, I’d do it all again
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh (Whoa)
The song begins by discussing the ‘before’, the period when the situation was manageable. This time could even be called comfortable and fun. While this is depicted by the training period for the soldier at Camp Lejeune, it can be the ‘before’ in anyone’s story, usually the beginning of a relationship or even young childhood.
During ‘before’, a person learns the basic rules of survival in their situation. This is often a time when the person is very naïve and idealistic, so the rules seem ok. The dark side of this is that the person is often unaware of the true reality and of how things will be later on. In the song this is referenced by the 19 year old soldier learning to obey commands and continues when they adapt to the new surroundings and find themselves sleeping rough in the desert. These are objectively difficult circumstances, but in the situation it is expected that the soldier will cope.
The soldier’s life becomes more difficult when he actually has to fight. The rules learned in ‘before’ must be applied to real-life situations and it is increasingly difficult to decide what to do. They get by through obeying the rules without question, but are conflicted. In our general trauma case, this is the period where things become worse and the person learns coping mechanisms. It is what is expected for their survival, but others wouldn’t understand the choices made.
It is difficult to go through individual trauma, but even worse when you see others suffer too. You can feel guilt at allowing others to suffer, and guilt at imagining that your suffering is on par with anyone else’s. Still, the decision to leave is harder than staying. The fear of the unknown and loyalty to others can keep us in objectively bad situations. The song references the deaths of fellow soldiers and even the Sergeant. This can be seen as the climax of the situation. The downsides are becoming obvious, but still the soldier fights on due to his loyalty to his country. There is a lament to the loss of innocence- ‘we were boys and now we’re men’- that is common for those who experience trauma. It forces people to grow up and steel themselves against attack.
When the situation ends, either because the person chose to leave or was emancipated via other means, there is a new level of suffering. This is depicted by the soldier’s difficulties once he returns home. The symptoms he experiences are typical of PTSD: nightmares, flashbacks, feeling that the world has changed and you don’t fit in, panic attacks, suicidal ideation. PTSD is not a condition unique to soldiers; most if not all trauma sufferers will experience some level of it. This is because the person must adjust to a completely different life from what they had before, while having the negative memories, thoughts and feelings inside their head.
Bon Jovi do an amazing thing by discussing PTSD and suicide in the song- these are rarely discussed and should be talked about more. While its most obvious use is to discuss the trials of military service, I hope to see it being used to describe other traumatic situations such as bereavement, rape, domestic violence and the experiences of refugees. Note that this is not an exhaustive list.
While the song seems to focus on the negatives of these situations- the trauma suffered and the aftermath- there is some hope offered.
The last proper verse reveals something that initially seems contradictory- ‘I would do it all again’. The soldier acknowledges that these experiences shape a person and make them who they are. Changing this would result in the loss of the camaraderie, purpose and discipline that benefited the soldier and will enable their recovery.
There is still work to be done to support survivors, punish the perpetrators and to prevent suffering- I am not about to deny that. It is my fervent hope that progress is made in these areas.
The chorus is the soldier’s plea to one day be ‘unbroken’- to recover and be able to function- and for others to avoid the same fate. That is the aim for all, and often requires a combination of time, good friends, therapy and medication. No shame in this at all- for anyone with mental health problems.
To recover requires a person to be Unapologetic- they need to work on recovering while avoiding feeling guilty or ashamed of their situation. This is by no means easy, but ultimately the only way to move on is to come to terms with what happened and to decide how to live from now on. Part of this is learning that the coping mechanisms were all a response to the trauma and need to be unlearned in order to adapt to the new reality.
As survivors and those who are around them, an enormous amount of bravery and patience is needed to cope with everyday life. By staying alive despite the challenges, they give themselves a chance of recovering.
Please check out the song on YouTube- proceeds from views are donated!
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