#UnapologeticallyMe series- Part 7: Personal Development and a Mindset for Success
We are facing uncertain times where it is impossible to rely on anything external. We must draw strength from within in order to cope. We can do this. This too shall pass. Maybe it’ll pass like a kidney stone, but it’ll pass. We need to have hope in the future that’s coming.
Luckily for us, another key feature of the current situation is that it is easier than ever before to access information. How can we use this well?
My advice would be that, in order to preserve our sanity and to live unapologetically, we should not spend excessive time on media or social media sites. While media sites are helpful for current affairs info, it’s all too easy to become overwhelmed and take on all the doom and gloom of the world. Social media may help us stay in touch with others, but please don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to others or in the drama of others.
We should then look to learn new things. Any new learning is good, but the best research you can do is in personal development. I said before that you can only rely on yourself in these times. What could then be a better way to spend your time than to focus on improving ourselves?
For some this means getting fitter or moving up the career ladder; for others it may be working on your mental health. Whatever you choose to focus on, you’ll need the right mindset.
May we all emerge from the shadow of the pandemic with new knowledge and purpose!
#UnapologeticallyMe by learning and improving
As always, I aim to practice what I preach, so here’s a sample of what I’ve been researching recently. It’s all about the mindset for success and how to improve yourself.
This is then my extra advice to you, but of course all credit for these goes to the original source. I hope you find it inspiring on some level.
‘Til next time, stay safe and stay unapologetic.
Ruberta
Advice on manifesting the life you want, by INSPIRE3 MANIFESTING
The 5 key steps to manifesting success and abundance
- Focus on what you desire most, being very specific (SMART goals)
- Visualise what it’ll be like to have your desire (use all your senses and really feel it) and get very passionate about it
- Release any limiting beliefs and obstacles in your way. Also release the pressure and stress surrounding achieving your goal
- Be grateful for the things you have in life. This puts you in a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity, allowing you more chances to get the improvements you desire
- Take actions towards your goal, trusting that life will provide if you have the courage to move forward
Coping in a crisis advice from Tony Robbins:
- See things as they are, never worse, and better if possible. This’ll help you stay grounded, avoid hype and catastrophising, and have hope and belief in a compelling future.
- Once you are grounded and have hope, it’s important to take action. These actions should be focused on helping others. How can I serve the greater good? How can I have a positive impact? What am I grateful for? What do I value and believe in?
- Action shows caring and caring is consciousness (awareness of others and their needs). You’re aiming for progress; 1% better each day.
- Everyone has gifts. How are you using yours?
Paraphrasing of Kayleen Wright’s PTSD Recovery Advice on Optimism vs Pessimism
Optimism is a growth mindset- I can only win or learn, never lose. I am always learning and improving. Look for the positives, reframe the negatives and keep moving forward. Look for solutions and messages rather than getting bogged down in negativity.
Advice from Rob Moore, Progressive Success
Success takes
- An unstoppable competitive mindset
- Consistent dedication and focus
- An internet connection for learning and marketing
- An ability to communicate a message
- What can I offer and how can I offer it?
- Why should they opt for me?- know your strengths and create an irresistible offer
- Create content and use software and systems that benefit you AND your clients
Those who succeed in hard times are those who can adapt quickly to a new existence. You need to overcome a fear of the unknown and excuses about lack of time. Tony Robbins says it’s about resourcefulness not resources and he’s right. It’s not what you’ve got, but how you use it.
Quotes from Pat Divilly’s UPGRADE YOUR LIFE book and echoed by his blog and courses:
“If I have the courage to dream and the willingness to work consistently, anything is possible”
“Thought are useless unless accompanied by action”
“The mind is a powerful force. It can enslave us or empower us. It can plunge us to the depths of misery or take you to heights of ecstasy. Learn to use it wisely” David Cuschieri
“The secret to success lies in attitude and self belief, not money or circumstances. You set your sights on a goal, follow a plan, and don’t give up….. All you need to do is keep taking steps forward”
“Everyone with success has seen rock bottom. They didn’t stay there long though, as they were convinced that a way out existed and changes could be made”
“Make someone’s time with you the best part of their day. Do whatever it takes to improve your business in 1% increments regularly and be on the lookout for ways to add value”
“Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas” Unquoted
Bill Gates:
- It pays to think big
- Make business and life fun. Yes, that includes chores and meetings
- Be around people who are as passionate about your success as you are
- You can be a nice guy in business and still succeed. You just need determination
- Take risks, but don’t be reckless
“Anything is possible; the only limits we have are in our own head”
“It is important to be willing to make mistakes. The worst thing that can happen then is you become memorable” Sara Blakely
“If you want success, you need to first define what success looks like to you personally”
“Success is felt in the heart; it is not money or possessions or power. Be true to yourself and achieve the goals you set for yourself. This is the path to fulfilment”
“Success without fulfilment is the worst failure” Tony Robbins
“At the end of your life, it will only matter how you treated and influenced others”
“The stories we tell ourselves can either hold us back or push us forward. You know what to do.”
“If someone else can do something, there’s no reason you can’t too”
“Reframe complaints and negative attitudes- Instead of “Why is/ Why am I…?”, ask “What can be done…?””
“Find evidence to disprove each of your negative beliefs. Then change your belief to a more empowering one by removing the negative slant”
“You never lose- you can only win or learn” Kayleen Wright and many others
“Consider your strengths and unique qualities to make empowering “I am” statements. These can be things you are or things you’re working on”
“Setbacks don’t define you. YOU ARE ENOUGH”
“Think objectively about experiences in life, taking a balanced view where you’re neither the hero nor the villain… Events themselves carry no meaning. It is when we attach meaning to them that we can feel negatively”
“People often overestimate what can be done in a day but underestimate what can be done in a lifetime” Bill Gates
“The best decision you can make is the right decision. You may think the worst is then a wrong decision but it isn’t. Wrong decisions are second best, as you can learn from them. The worst decision you can make is no decision at all. Take charge of your life”
To achieve your goals:
- Focus on a specific end goal or vision. Keep taking actions towards it
- Find your ‘Why’ or core motivation
- Identify and overcome your limitations
- Find a team, resources and a mentor
- Break down your goal into manageable chunks
Quotes on achieving goals
- “Action is the real measure of intelligence”
- “Don’t wait for things to be perfect. Take action and learn as you go. Say yes now, then learn how to do it along the way”
- “Your why should make you cry… it should hit you in the chest and inspire you, deep and true”
- “It’s not A to Z but A to B you should focus on”
“It is very important not to attach your happiness to your goal. Don’t let your achievements or otherwise dictate your mood or self- belief”
“All that matters is you keep moving forward”
“If something stops being fun, move on. Life is too short for unhappiness. Waking up stressed and miserable is no way to live” Richard Branson
“Success isn’t overnight. It’s when every day you get a little better than you were the day before. It all adds up” The Rock
“No matter what your position in life, you can always help others and should look out for ways to do so” Pat’s dad, Colm Divilly
The 5 pillars of a happy, fulfilling life
- Health- This includes activity levels, meditation, nutrition and sleep
- Relationships- Connection, Who’s important to you?, Networking, Growth and learning, Dealing with confrontation, Dealing with critics (internal and external), Making the right impression, The wow factor, Office environment and culture, Teamwork and goal setting
- Career, education and finance- Am I growing and learning?, Why me/ What are my strengths and attributes?, Who is your ideal customer and how are you attracting them?, Who inspires me?, Am I using the compound effect (small changes add up)
- Adventure- Am I living? What are my wishes and goals if nothing held me back? (experiences, travel, possessions, goals and learning) How can I incorporate these now?
- Contribution- What am I doing for others? What causes do I care about? What are my values? How am I upholding them?
“Aim for progress, not perfection” Dean Graziosi, Dayna Abraham and many others
“There’s not much difference between a fantasist and a visionary. We all have dreams and without dreams, in business, I don’t believe you can be successful. The trick is turning them into reality” Theo Paphitis
“The opposite of courage is conformity” Earl Nightingale
Things that successful people do
- They get active (can mean exercise, but at least movement)- 30 mins daily
- They meditate- 10 mins daily
- They show gratitude- 3 things per day
- They acknowledge and compliment others- at least once a day
- They never stop learning and being curious (this can be courses, but also any reading or listening material that you learn from)- ideally 1 hour per day
- They journal and are curious about their own thought processes. They interview themselves on the deep questions and learn from the answers
- They are constantly setting goals and taking action. Remember action is key and you should aim for progress, not perfection
- They have a morning routine that sets them up to have a good day
- They review and evaluate their life constantly