#UnapologeticallyMe series- part 8: Lockdown Reflections
Lockdown has been a weird time for us all. We’re isolated from each other and have switched to digital methods of socialising, we’re not entirely sure what day it is and we’re doing things very differently from before.
Some changes are negative: people are anxious and suffering with their mental health, people are stressed and irritable, many have lost someone or missed out on things they had looked forward to, there’s too much uncertainty
Others are positive: people are reaching out to each other and caring about each other more, we’re all more grateful for things now
Was the pandemic the only thing going on? No, as then life would surely be too boring……
This time will also be remembered for an increase in awareness about racial injustices. The events in America that led to the deaths of several people of colour have caused us to all look at our internal biases. It’s not only in America either- racial injustice is a global issue.
The pandemic itself has highlighted the divisions in society- those who were already struggling financially are having a worse lockdown experience than those who were more secure, those with physical and mental health issues are having problems getting the same level of care as before, prejudiced attitudes are reflected in how we treat others and react to them.
For me, lockdown has been about being around my family more. We were always rather insular and so not much has changed about our level of interaction with society, but we’re still finding that things have changed.
My family, like many people, feel judged for being out and possibly spreading the infection or another illness, for not doing or being enough. Our expectations and horizons have narrowed (‘going out’ now counts as a trip to our nearest shops) and there is a new normal about everything.
We’re encouraged not to think of lockdown as being shut in, but as being safe, and to find the positives in it. Too much positivity is as toxic as an overdose of negativity, but I agree with the general idea here. We shouldn’t view this as worse than it is. It is a time to start anew and reconnect and reassess our priorities in life.
I’ve got a lot more experience as a teacher now, despite having an extremely unwilling and demotivated student (we’ll get there). We are now finally at the end of term and I feel like giving out some general comments on what I’ve learned, had to repeat, or had reaffirmed in this period:
What is OK:
To be uncertain and afraid
To not feel OK/ to have ‘down days’
To research and stay informed
To care
To be yourself
To feel negative emotions
To need help
To connect and reach out
To help others and care for them
To have interests
To claim things you’re entitled to
Having fun
To control what you can
To offer advice or help
To have an opinion
To cut off toxic people
What is not OK:
To treat someone poorly due to our own frustration
To give up
The level of negativity in the media
Virtue signalling/ caring because it’s ‘in’ now
To make others feel bad for being them
To act on them and treat people badly or do bad things
To take advantage of someone
To expect things from people and to judge others
To forget about yourself
To obsess, refuse to consider the interests of others, and stop doing essential things
To forget to save
To claim fraudulently or to judge someone who needs help
Not considering others
To control a person or worry about things you can’t control
To force someone to accept
To force an opinion on others
To judge someone for doing that or to sabotage a relationship
The ultimate message here is that it’s OK to feel and to do what you need to in order to cope, but not to force, control or judge others.
Most of this comes down to the golden rule- Treat others how we want to be treated!
The ultimate one is the focus of this series- you don’t need to apologise for being you! This is in all senses of the word- how we look, where we come from, what we do and how we do it, how we feel and what we need.
I really hope that we are all able to come out of this challenging period as well as possible.
There will be an awful lot to do when things return to normal (hopefully a new normal that involves righting wrongs and making society a more welcoming and fair place) so we best rest up now.
Best wishes to everyone in the world but particularly to all the key workers doing essential jobs.
Stay safe all.
Stay unapologetic.